My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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