I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
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I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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