JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Four minutes until I can fart!
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I think i got beer on your cat.
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