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i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
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