New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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