just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
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