Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
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My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
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door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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