Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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