How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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