just come out here and I will go home with you...
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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