Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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