You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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