Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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