Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
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I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
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I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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