I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
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