it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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