Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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