We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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