There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
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Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
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I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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