He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
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Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
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No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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