no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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