My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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