Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I wanna bring you to show and tell
i don't like sucking hair
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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