is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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