life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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