There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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