All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize