I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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