nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize