You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
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