Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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