Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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