I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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