literally had 100 drinks last night.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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