dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
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We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
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Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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