How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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