I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
There's even glitter on my cock...
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