stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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