Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
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I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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