Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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