seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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