I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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