Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize