I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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