Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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