Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize