is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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