Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize