we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize