...so i touched it.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize